Relying on parents

Unlike Huang and Song and countless other Chinese couples who rely heavily on their parents to take care of their grandchildren, Ren Yan and her husband Pan Yongqiang have opted to do something different, intent on ensuring that their parents can live out their remaining years in tranquillity. That means that when the grandparents pay a visit from time to time, they can enjoy the family happiness free of the cares that keep many a grandparent preoccupied.

Ren and Pan employ a part-time nanny to take their oldest son, 5, to kindergarten and collect him later.

Pan, 46, who works for a State-owned enterprise in Beijing, says he has stayed home and looked after their 7-month-old son for more than two months because since the Spring Festival about six weeks ago it has been difficult to find a full-time nanny. He has become skilled at looking after his son and feeds him five times a day, he says.

"It's not just about changing diapers and feeding him. He can't talk, so you have to watch him really carefully and do things like playing with him."

Ren, 38, who works for an IT company in Beijing, says both she and her husband have brothers and sisters. Their parents are in their 70s and are liable to fall ill, and children provide for them financially and emotionally.

"I am enjoying the different phases my children go through. Yes, you have to spend a lot of time with them when they're tiny, but you'll get your rewards in the end. I love seeing my younger son in swaddling cloths smiling at me. And I know that when I am sick my older boy will look after me.

"Sometimes it's as if the older boy has suddenly grown up. He loves telling people he has a young brother. When one of our neighbors wants to hold the baby in their arms, he cheekily says something like, 'Oh, this baby is naughty. You really won't enjoy holding him.'

"When they grow up and live elsewhere, perhaps at least one of them will return home for the Spring Festival. By having more than one child you increase your chances in that regard."

Ren and Pan say there is no doubt that having two sons has put pressure on them financially and in other ways. Apart from having to employ a live-in nanny, they always seem to be short of time, they say, and their five-seater car is too small.