Divorce hotel eases path to parting
Updated: 2012-06-03 07:52
By Janet Morrissey(The New York Times)
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Jim Halfens, a Dutch entrepreneur, has developed the Divorce Hotel, a weekend program for couples seeking a quick split-up. Michel De Groot for The New York Times |
An entrepreneur from the Netherlands has come up with a program that makes it simpler for couples who want to split up. Check in to a special hotel on Friday, married. Then, with the help of mediators and independent lawyers, check out on Sunday, divorce papers in hand ready for a judge, all for a flat fee.
The Divorce Hotel concept is up and running in the Netherlands, where its mastermind, Jim Halfens, is helping unhappy couples end their marriages en suite. Seventeen couples have tried it so far. All but one left divorce-ready.
Mr. Halfens, 33, has struck agreements with six high-end hotels in the Netherlands. He is negotiating with hotels in other countries including Britain, Italy, Germany and the United States, where he has also spoken to production companies about developing a reality show.
Among the top 20 divorce rates worldwide are 18 European countries, with Belarus leading at 68 percent, according to the Web site Divorce.com. Britain's rate is 53 percent and Germany's is 41 percent. In the United States, it's estimated that about half of marriages end in divorce.
Mr. Halfens came up with the idea for Divorce Hotel after watching a college friend go through a painful divorce. "I was convinced there has to be another way," Mr. Halfens says.
So, drawing on a background in marketing, as well as a stint at a law firm, he opened Divorce Hotel. Couples stay in separate rooms. A suite is used for mediation talks. Hotel staff members receive special instructions. "You don't want the hotel crew wishing you a very nice weekend and hoping you have lots of fun here," says Mr. Halfens.
Divorce Hotel charges a flat fee of $3,500 to $10,000, depending on the complexity of a couple's financial arrangements. Divorces in the United States tend to cost $5,000 to $20,000, though the cost can soar depending on the assets involved, the case's complexity and whether child custody is an issue, according to Randall M. Kessler, chairman of the American Bar Association's family law section. Child custody battles and cases involving complex financial arrangements tend to be the costliest, he says, with fees often exceeding $100,000 from each party.
Robert S. Cohen, a prominent American divorce lawyer, says a divorce hotel would not work in complicated cases. "The notion of being able to - at the beginning of a split-up - spend a weekend putting these various pieces together and coming to a solution to them would be virtually impossible," Mr. Cohen says. "I don't see how one would do it and come up with a fair result."
Last September, a 44-year-old computer consultant in the Netherlands checked into a Divorce Hotel with his wife. He spoke on the condition that his full name not be used, to protect their privacy. Both had been through divorces before. The first time, he says, he lost the equivalent of $30,000 just on lawyer and court costs. The process took a year.
"There was a lot of fighting - not by us, but our lawyers," he recalls. "Every letter her attorney wrote had to be answered by mine. That financially ruined me."
He and his second wife wanted to end their seven-year marriage on friendly terms. "We were both divorced before and we both experienced a lot of pain and misery," he says.
So they opted for the Divorce Hotel - and were thrilled with the results. On the divorce weekend, he says, they went out on the town for dinner and wine. "It wasn't weird or wrong," he says. "We felt great - like friends."
Mr. Halfens tells the story of one couple who spent their final night together in the hotel's honeymoon suite. "We were a bit flabbergasted," Mr. Halfens says. That couple ended up divorcing.
Mr. Halfens says that only one of every three couples that applies for his program is accepted. His team tries to ensure that both parties want to divorce and are willing to work with a mediator. If the couple is bickering or barely speaking to each other, or if greed or vengeance seems to be a motivation, the couple is rejected.
Mr. Halfens, who is not married, says he has already invited Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to Divorce Hotel. They're a perfect fit, in his view, since they've indicated they want to end their six-year marriage on friendly terms.
He hasn't heard back.
The New York Times
(China Daily 06/03/2012 page9)