Photo provided to China Daily

"There's definitely a correlation between the gay scene being underground and the HIV rate here. Another problem is that gay saunas in Shanghai don't provide free condoms," he says

Forum for gays just a click away

My child is … gay

"There's a massive population here that is only coming out of the woodwork at night," says the 27-year-old redhead, who puts on events like gay movie days, afternoon pottery classes and art trips.

"There's a huge need for more friend-based avenues to meet outside the gay bar scene or apps that use GPS to locate people because those are too closely tied to sex and alcohol."

A leading Chinese sociologist voiced her support for such groups in February ahead of the National People's Congress in Beijing. Li Yinhe told local media that Chinese are constitutionally entitled to set up social organizations, including those with a gay focus.

Academics like Qingdao University professor Zhang Beichuan have also been pushing the government to revise the law and permit same-sex marriages, but Chinese society may not be ready for that yet.

While the city's LGBT community is enjoying a slightly higher level of social acceptance than in previous years, a manic fear of disappointing one's parents or risking a promotion means many are still living a dangerous charade.

"I don't want to be judged," says Wang. "If you let your employers know you are gay here it can stifle your chances of getting promoted. It's a stigma in China that is used to define you."