I'm not the only penny-wise, pound-foolish cheapskate out there.
我不是世上唯一的那個在小錢上精打細算的家伙，這世上像我這樣省小錢吃大虧的小氣鬼比比皆是。
Last week, I wrote how I had once fractured my kneecap in a fall, trying to keep from spilling a few dollars' worth of dog food. Readers have since shared their tales of woe, and I now realize I got off lightly.
上周我在一篇文章中寫了自己的經歷：為了不讓幾美元的狗糧灑掉，我摔了一跤，并把膝蓋摔裂了。隨后有許多讀者跟我分享了他們的悲慘經歷，于是我發現原來自己還不算是最點兒背的。
粉刷匠的痛
One New Jersey man decided to paint the exterior of his house to save money. It was all going well until the ladder slipped.
新澤西有位仁兄為了省錢，決定自己粉刷屋子的外墻。本來一切順利，但到了最后，梯子滑倒了。
"When I hit the ground, I ended up on top of the ladder and the paint splashed all over my face. So I was then treated to an ambulance ride to the local hospital where I found out that I had two broken bones in my shoulder, one rib fracture, and one broken finger bone, plus numerous scrapes and cuts. At the hospital, the doctor's first comment about the paint all over my face was 'nice color.' "
“我人還在梯子頂上呢，一下就拍到了地上，油漆濺了我滿頭滿臉。我馬上被救護車送到當地醫院，診斷結果是肩膀兩根骨頭骨折，一根肋骨碎裂，還有一個手指也斷了，全身上下還有無數刮傷蹭傷。在醫院里，醫生看著我滿臉的油漆，第一句話居然是‘顏色調得還不賴’。”
最貴的木柴
One Texas banker wrote me about his bad decision to cut his own firewood a few years ago.
德克薩斯一位銀行家寫信講了他幾年前的一個錯誤決定：自己鋸木柴。
"We had not been there 15 minutes when my chainsaw kicked back and nearly lopped off my thumb. ... A trip to the emergency room and several trips to a hand specialist led to the most expensive firewood I have ever burned. Since that day, I have not complained about the price of a delivered cord of wood. Anytime I get the idea that I could save some money by doing something myself, I look at my deformed thumb and reconsider."
“我們干了還不到15分鐘，我那把電鋸突然反轉了，差點把我的大拇指整個削了下來……我被送到了急診室，后來又去一位專家那里接受了好幾次治療。那絕對是我燒過的最貴的木柴了。打那以后，我就再也沒埋怨過現成的木柴賣得太貴了。現在，每當我想為了省點錢而自己動手之前，我都會先看看我那變形了的大拇指，然后好好權衡一番。”
燒錢的寵物
One Atlanta reader wrote about taking along his seven-year-old Basset hound when he traveled to a wedding.
亞特蘭大一位讀者在信中說，有次他帶著七歲大的巴塞特獵犬去參加婚禮。
"We could have stayed at a motel that allowed pets for $25 a night more than we paid at the motel that did not allow pets. We decided to stay at the less-expensive motel and take Baby into our room even though the sign in the lobby said 'No Dogs Allowed.' The motel security camera caught us taking our 60-pound hound into the room and we were billed an extra $175 for 'cleaning expenses' because of the dog. Bad decision."
“我們真該選擇允許寵物入住的汽車旅館，一晚只比住不許寵物入內的旅館多花25美元。但當時我們決定住便宜些的。雖然大堂里有個牌子寫著‘狗不得入內’，我們還是帶著寶貝兒住了進去。旅館的安檢攝像頭拍下了我們帶著這只體重60磅的獵狗走進房間的場景，為此我們多交了175美元的‘清潔費’。這真是個愚蠢透頂的決定。”
籃球架的噩夢
Another reader decided to save himself money by buying a used basketball hoop and bracket and then constructing his own post and backboard. Only problem was the concrete hardened before he could get the post sunk to the right height. And he got paint all over himself.
還有一位讀者為了省錢，買了個舊的籃球筐和支架，打算自己弄個籃球架。問題在于，他還沒來得及把支架弄到合適的高度，混凝土就凝固了，他把自己弄了一身的油漆。
"By the time I got the thing mounted and somewhat stable, the rim was two feet higher than regulation. To put it mildly, [my] boys were crestfallen. Already I had spent more than $300--not including the cost of my ruined clothing--to get this $1.50 hoop up to where my little boys could barely reach it with the ball. Luckily, a friend (who unlike me was an accomplished handyman) accidentally knocked it down with his truck and offered to replace it himself with a kit from a sporting goods store, which cost me a little over $100, fully installed."
“等我把架子固定好后，發現籃筐的高度比正常高了兩英尺。說得客氣點兒，我的幾個兒子都很沮喪。前后算下來，不算我被弄壞了的衣服，我一共花了300多美元來搞定這個價值1.5美元的籃筐，而且我那幾個年幼的孩子基本上都夠不到。還好，我這個笨手笨腳的人有個心靈手巧的朋友，有一天他的卡車不小心把我的籃球架撞倒了，他主動要求由他動手來個大改造，于是乎我又花了100多美元從體育用品店里買了新的全套籃球架裝備。”
天價餅干
One reader told me what happened when, while living in Alaska, he returned to a supermarket to retrieve a box of crackers he had paid for but mistakenly left behind.
有一位讀者告訴了我他住在阿拉斯加時的一次經歷：他在超市買了一盒克力架餅干卻忘了拿，于是就開車回去取。
"It was snowing and the roads were slippery. A Jeep Cherokee in front of me was stopped in the middle of the road. I braked but skidded into him, smashing the front end and totaling my car (without even scratching the Jeep). To top it off, I got a ticket for rear-ending the Jeep. All for a box of crackers. What was I thinking?"
“當時正下著雪，路上很滑。前方有輛切諾基停在路當中。我踩了剎車，卻還是徑直滑了過去，我的車身前部嚴重受損，車子也徹底報廢了（那輛切諾基卻毫發無損）。最糟糕的是，我還收到了一張追尾的罰單。就為了一盒克力架餅干，真不知道我當時是怎么想的。”
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（來源：北外網院，英語點津編輯）
