也許你會羨慕名人可以經常穿新衣新鞋，但是別忘了，新鞋總是不如舊鞋舒服。盡管如此，英國女王高貴的雙腳卻不會因為新鞋而受苦。女王每得到一雙新皮鞋，都會請專人來把她的新鞋穿軟，如果你的鞋碼剛好和女王一樣是37碼，又自認擁有一雙無堅不摧的腳，那么你可以考慮為英國女王做“腳替”，據說薪資待遇還不錯。

How much do you love the Queen? This is a serious question. I am serious. A test of loyalty to our Queen is nigh.
你有多喜歡女王伊麗莎白二世呢？這是一個嚴肅的問題，我是認真的。這是一個考驗你對女王忠誠度的問題。

I love the Queen dearly, as if she were my own grandmother – but even I questioned the latest job vacancy at Buckingham Palace.
我敬愛女王，愛她就像愛自己的祖母一般。但是即便如此，我還是想對白金漢宮最近的一個職位招募提出質疑。

Throw me in the Tower and feed the key to Prince Andrew, because this is where I draw the line: I would not be the Royal Shoe Breaker-Inner.
如果將我丟到倫敦塔，讓我天天給安德魯王子遞鑰匙，我還可以接受。但是我的底線是，我絕對不會去做專門幫女王把鞋子穿軟這種尊貴的王室工作。

According to the Standard, the Queen has hired such a Royal Shoe Breaker-Inner: someone to walk around the palace's hallowed hallways every time she gets a new pair of kicks, in order to prevent royal blisters from forming. A footman, if you will. Or footwoman. Plastering up your broken flesh with Boots' finest wouldn't be very regal, after all.
據《標準晚報》報道，伊麗莎白女王雇傭了一名專門替她把鞋子穿軟的工作人員。女王每得到一雙新鞋，該工作人員就需要穿上它在白金漢宮神圣的走廊里來回踱步，直到把鞋子穿軟，以防女王高貴的雙腳被磨出水泡。如果你得到這份工作，可以說，你就是女王的“腳替”了。畢竟，以女王如此尊貴的身份，穿著高級鞋子的雙腳可不能傷痕累累。

I have just spent plenty of time reading conjecture about the Queen’s shoe size, and at risk of depriving you of the chance to take this journey for yourself – I apologise! – she is a size 4.
我花了很多時間看過各種對女王鞋碼的猜測。如果我說出來以后你覺得你沒機會去應聘這個工作了，我向你道歉！女王穿的鞋子是4碼（相當于中國尺碼37碼）。

So: a wearer of size 4 feet (who are you? If you are reading, make yourself known) has been hired for the task. At this very moment, this humble, honourable creature, by now half-woman, half-heel sore, could already be tramping around the drawing room in the Queen’s favourite ￡1,000 patent leather Anello & Davides. Soft yet? Good. Here’s another pair.
因此，白金漢宮雇傭了一名穿4碼鞋的人來幫女王“馴服”新鞋。（這個人到底是誰呀？如果你剛好在看這篇文章，告訴我們你是誰吧。）此時此刻，這位謙卑低調同時又值得尊敬的女士可能正忍著雙腳的疼痛，穿著女王的心頭好——由英國老牌鞋店Anello&Davides制作、市值1000英鎊的漆皮鞋，在白金漢宮的客廳里不停走動。鞋子穿軟了？好的，還有一雙！

Given that the nature of the job may require people with fully-functioning tootsies to step into the breach at a moment's notice, what credentials might the ideal applicant require? Luckily, we have obtained the job advertisement they last used. Peruse it thoroughly, and next time the position opens up, you will be what they call a shoo-in.
鑒于這項工作的性質，白金漢宮需要雇用一批雙腳大小符合條件的后備軍，可以隨時隨地接替上一個人的工作。那么，能勝任這項工作的人需要符合什么條件呢？告訴你個好消息——我們找到了白金漢宮之前的招聘啟事。仔細認真地讀一讀，下次這個職位開放招募時，說不定你就能穩操勝券，一舉拿下。

Role 角色

Royal shoe breaker-inner. No, really! This is legit! Keep reading!
專門把新鞋穿軟的王室工作人員。別不信，這是真的！繼續看下去。

Salary 薪資

Competitive. Have you been a shoe breaker-inner before? No? Then why do you think you should start your career at Buckingham Palace? This should be the culmination of your career. You will be the envy of millions. Go to shoe-breaker-inner college and do the time.
具有競爭力的薪資。你之前做過專門把新鞋穿軟這種工作嗎？沒有？那為什么不考慮在白金漢宮試試水呢？這肯定會是你職業生涯的巔峰。肯定會引來眾人艷羨。趕緊入坑吧！

Location 地點

Buckingham Palace. Up the stairs, down the corridors, around the garden. You might say you will be following in the Queen’s footsteps.
白金漢宮。階梯上，走廊下，花園旁——均可能是你的工作地點。可以說，你將跟隨女王的腳步。你要走的可是女王走過的路。

Experience 工作經歷

You need to have broken in some tough shoes. I am not talking slippers. I am talking pointy-toed patent leather stilettos, taken out of the box and then worn for the duration of a 48-hour shift on a farmyard. Are you tough as old boots? You must be tougher. You must be older and tougher than tough old boots. And you must be size 4. This is important.
你必須征服過一些質地很硬的鞋子。我說的可不是拖鞋，我指的是尖頭漆皮高跟鞋。將新鞋從鞋盒里拿出來，在一個農家庭院里連續穿上48小時。所以，問問你自己，你的腳結實嗎？你可要保證你的腳得比堅固的舊鞋子還要結實，要無堅不摧。還有，你的鞋碼應該是4碼，這很重要。

Warning: Must not have smelly feet. This is very important.
溫馨提示：萬萬不能有腳臭。這一點特別重要。

英文來源：每日電訊報
翻譯：魏千菡（中國日報網愛新聞iNews譯者）
編審：丹妮