隨著科技發展，各種便攜式設備得以普及，手機也逐漸成為了我們生活中不可缺少的一部分。科技使得我們的生活更加便利，但同時它也影響著我們的人際關系，我們藉由網絡了解遙遠的外部世界，卻也因此常常忽略身邊的人們。是時候放下手機啦，別讓科技毀了我們的生活！

By Meghan Holohan

李殊 選 陳馨注

‘Technoference’ may be hurting your relationship.

It’s been a long, terrible day. As you recount your struggles, you suddenly notice your partner is furiously typing on his phone. Your anger boils (you’ve forgotten that you did the same thing to him just yesterday). It’s time to step away from the smartphone, put down the tablet, shut the laptop and turn off the TV. A slew of recent research suggests that if people want happy relationships, they need to stop clinging to technology.

“I was surprised about the amount of people saying that this happens in their relationship every day,” says Sarah Coyne, an associate professor in the department of family life at Brigham Young University. “You are sitting there and kind of bored and check Facebook … it is almost our default to turn to our phones.”

In a new study, Coyne asked 143 married or cohabitating women to answer questions about technology use and relationships. She wanted to understand how technology encroaches on our lives and relationships, what she calls “technoference.” The vast majority of respondents, 70 percent, said using a cell phone interrupted interactions between them and their partners sometimes, often, very often or all the time. Even more, 74 percent, said that computers sometimes, often, very often or all the time disturbed their interactions with partners.

The women who reported technoference also said they fought more with their partners, which made them feel badly about their relationships. On top of this, they felt more depressed and less satisfied with life.

“What I think the most important finding is, the more you let the technology interfere, the more conflict you have with your spouse or partner and that leads to not feeling great about the relationship,” she says.

Still there’s other research showing that cell phone dependence can be unhealthy.

“Cell phone attachment is positively related to an increase in stress and anxiety and even depression,” says James A. Roberts, a professor of marketing at Baylor University Hankamer School of Business.

In a 2012 paper, Roberts coined the word “phub,” a mash-up of phone and snub. Phubbing occurs when someone chooses to play with an app, text or take a phone call instead of paying attention to a person.

“Essentially, what we are saying is that you don’t matter,” he says. “It touches at our core.”

Part of the problem is that cell phones are ubiquitous – and fitting into society means having one. “We have a social entourage and posse. The more calls we get and the more we are on the phone, we clearly must be more important,” he says.

But in a relationship this can be damaging: “It really devalues our loved ones.”

While technology can create a rift in a relationship, it can also bring couples together. A study published in the International Journal of Neuropsychotherapy finds that when couples watch TV together they felt closer. Using a laptop was the fastest way to push couples apart.

“If we are sitting down and both watching TV together … that can be beneficial ,” says Coyne.

Even cell phones can be positive. In a 2011 study, Coyne found that when couples text each other nice messages, the relationship flourished . When they texted about controversial topics, the relationship suffered. The solution?

“When you are face to face, just talk,” says Coyne.

Coyne suggests that if you notice your partner relying too heavily on technology, say something like, “Hey I’ve been so busy texting that I haven’t talked to you.”

Roberts believes that carving out cell phone-free time, like at meals, can reduce the strain on relationships. And, when people have to use their phones, politely apologizing can prevent hurt feelings.

“You may see it’s actually freeing,” he says.

Vocabulary

1. technoference: 科技入侵。

2. recount: 敘述； furiously: 激烈地，狂躁地。

3. boil: 發怒。

4. smart phone: 智能手機； tablet: 平板電腦；laptop: 筆記本電腦。

5. a slew of: 許多，大量的；cling to: 依附，附著。

6. associate professor: 副教授。

7. 你坐在那，感覺有些無聊，于是就打開“臉書”看看有什么新鮮事……每當這種時候，我們總是拿出手機玩，這幾乎是我們的習慣定式了。Facebook: 臉書，全球最大的社交網站；default: 默認，這里指一種約定俗成的方式。

8. cohabitate: 同居。

9. 她想了解科技是如何蠶食我們的生活和人際關系的。她把科技的這種影響稱之為“科技入侵”。encroach on: 侵占,侵害。

10. respondent: 調查對象；interaction: 互動，交流。

11. disturb: 打擾；interaction: 交往，相互作用。

12. depressed: 憂郁的，沮喪的。

13. interfere: 干涉，介入； conflict: 矛盾，爭執；spouse: 配偶。

14. attachment: 依戀；positively: 肯定地；depression: 抑郁癥。

15. 在2012年發表的論文里，Roberts創造出了一個新詞“phub”（“低頭族”），這個詞是“phone”（電話）和“snub”（冷落）的結合體。coin: 創造（新詞語）；mash-up: 結合體；snub: （言行的）冷落，怠慢。

16. ubiquitous: 普遍存在的。

17. entourage: 環境；posse: 一群人。

18. devalue: 輕視。

19. rift: 分歧，不和。

20. International Journal of Neuropsychotherapy: 《神經心理治療國際雜志》。

21. beneficial: 有益的。

22. text: 發短信。

23. flourish: 茂盛，這里指關系的健康發展。

24. controversial: 引起爭論的，有爭議的；suffer: 變差，惡化。

25. rely on: 依靠，信賴。

26. carve out: 開辟出，此處指專門制定；strain: 壓力。

（來源：英語學習雜志 編輯：丹妮）