查看原文

The stress of organising a big wedding can leave many couples at breaking point, as they battle to coordinate a celebration on a scale which would tax even professional event planners.

But couples wrestling with 150-seat table plans should take heart, for new research suggests that bigger weddings predict more successful marriages.

A study by the University of Virginia in the US, found that couples who had larger ceremonies had higher-quality marriages.

Although cynics may argue that people who can afford an opulent wedding are likely to be financially secure, and therefore happier, the researchers claim that the correlation remains even when controlling for wealth.

They believe that marrying in front of a large number of people demonstrates greater commitment to the union while also discouraging divorce.

“There is some reason to believe that having more witnesses at a wedding may actually strengthen marital quality,” said lead author Dr Galena Rhoades.

“We try to keep our present attitudes and behaviours in line with our past conduct. The desire for consistency is likely enhanced by public expressions of intention.

“Weddings may foster support for the new marriage from within a couple’s network of friends and family. Those who hold a formal wedding are likely to have stronger social networks in the first place.”

The report is part of the ongoing National Marriage Project in the US which has been studying what makes marriages work since 1997.

The survey of 418 people found that only 30 percent of couples who had 50 or fewer guests at the wedding had highly-successful marriages. In contrast, nearly half (47 percent) of couples who had 150 guests or more had strong unions.

National Marriage Project director Brad Wilcox added: “Couples with larger networks of friends and family may have more help, and encouragement, in navigating the challenges of married life.”

The research also discovered that couples who had fewer partners before marriage were happier and more content.

Having several relationships before getting married may lead couples to compare their current partners with former lovers, the authors warn.

“We generally think that having more experience is better. If you were hiring an architect, for example, you would want to hire an architect with more, not less, experience to build your house," said Dr Rhoades.

“But what we find for relationships is just the opposite. Having more experience was related to having a less happy marriage.

“People who had been married before; people who had lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend before and those who had more sexual partners before marriage were each associated with having lower marital quality.

“Having more relationship experience may lead to a greater sense of what the alternatives are. If you have a greater sense of other options it may be harder to invest in, or commit to a marriage.”

The researchers call it the ‘Vegas Fallacy’ – not everything that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, they warn.

“The past does not always stay in the past,” added Dr Rhoades.

Recent figures from the Office for National Statistics show that marriage in Britain is stronger than it has been for a generation.

The divorce rate in England and Wales is currently almost 20 percent lower than it was a decade ago.

The trend towards more stable marriages is being driven by younger people, with the divorce rates falling in all age groups up to 50 for men and 45 for women.

By contrast so-called “silver splitter” separations continue to surge, with the number of people over 60 heading to the divorce courts up three percent in a single year and 45 percent in a decade.

Adultery as a cause for divorce has also dropped to an all-time low, accounting for just 14 percent of dissolutions granted to wives in 2012. More than half of wives filing for divorce now cite their husband’s “ unreasonable behaviour”.

The overall divorce rate in England and Wales now stands at 10.8 for every 1,000 married people, a fifth lower than its level in 2002.

However an estimated 42 percent of marriages will still end in divorce.