如今，社會(huì)的審美標(biāo)準(zhǔn)讓各年齡段的女性面臨前所未有的壓力。然而，女人的價(jià)值就體現(xiàn)在容貌和吃穿打扮上嗎？不妨從和小女孩兒的談話開(kāi)始改變這一切吧。

By Lisa Bloom

樂(lè)楓 選注

I went to a dinner party at a friend’s home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Little Maya was all curly brown hair, dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown.[1] I wanted to squeal[2], “Maya, you’re so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!”[3]

But I didn’t. I squelched[4] myself. As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse,[5] which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed they are.

What’s wrong with that? It’s our culture’s standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker[6], isn’t it? And why not give them a sincere compliment to boost their self-esteem?[7] Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly.[8]

Hold that thought for just a moment.

News reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. 15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly;[9] eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down. Even bright, successful college women say they’d rather be hot[10] than smart. A Miami mom just died from cosmetic surgery,[11] leaving behind two teenagers. This keeps happening, and it breaks my heart.

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23.[12] As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new norm,[13] American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

That’s why I force myself to talk to little girls as follows.

“Maya,” I said, crouching[14] down at her level, looking into her eyes, “very nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” she said, in that trained, polite, talking-to-adults good girl voice.

“Hey, what are you reading?” I asked, a twinkle[15] in my eyes. I love books. I’m nuts for them.[16] I let that show.

Her eyes got bigger, and the practiced, polite facial expression gave way to genuine excitement over this topic.[17] She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger.

“I LOVE books,” I said. “Do you?”

Most kids do.

“YES,” she said. “And I can read them all by myself now!”

“Wow, amazing!” I said. And it is, for a five-year-old. You go on with your bad self, Maya.

“What’s your favorite book?” I asked.

“I’ll go get it! Can I read it to you?”

Purplicious was Maya’s pick and a new one to me, as Maya snuggled next to me on the sofa and proudly read aloud every word, about our heroine who loves pink but is tormented by a group of girls at school who only wear black.[18] Alas, it was about girls and what they wore, and how their wardrobe choices defined their identities.[19] But after Maya closed the final page, I steered the conversation to the deeper issues in the book: mean girls and peer pressure and not going along with the group.[20] I told her my favorite color in the world is green, because I love nature. Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. It’s surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I’m stubborn[21].

I told her that I’d just written a book, and that I hoped she’d write one too one day. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we’d read it and talk about it.

So, will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture?[22] No. But I did change Maya’s perspective[23] for at least that evening.

Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she’s reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You’re just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed[24]. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand[25]? You may get some intriguing[26] answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.

Here’s to changing the world, one little girl at a time.

Vocabulary

1. adorable: 可愛(ài)的，討人喜歡的；nightgown: 女睡袍。

2. squeal: 發(fā)出長(zhǎng)而尖銳的聲音（叫聲）。

3. ruffled: 有褶邊裝飾的；gown: 女禮服；gorgeous: 非常漂亮的。

4. squelch: 壓制。

5. restrain: 抑制；impulse: 沖動(dòng)。

6. icebreaker:（初次見(jiàn)面時(shí)）消除拘謹(jǐn)?shù)脑捳Z(yǔ)（舉動(dòng)）。

7. compliment: 贊美；boost: 提升；self-esteem: 自尊。

8. 說(shuō)實(shí)在的，因?yàn)樗齻兲蓯?ài)了，我遇見(jiàn)她們的時(shí)候只想迸發(fā)出來(lái)（夸贊之詞）。

9. mascara: 睫毛膏；eyeliner:（化妝的）眼線。

10. hot: 漂亮的，性感的。

11. Miami: 邁阿密（美國(guó)佛羅里達(dá)州東南部港市）；cosmetic surgery: 整容手術(shù)。

12. 這會(huì)讓她們從5歲開(kāi)始節(jié)食，11歲開(kāi)始抹粉底霜，17歲開(kāi)始隆胸，23歲開(kāi)始打肉毒桿菌。Botox:（商品名）肉毒桿菌素（可消除皺紋）。

13. imperative:（對(duì)人的行為具有很大影響的）觀念；24/7:〈口〉每時(shí)每刻。

14. crouch: 屈膝。

15. twinkle: 閃光。

16. 我為書(shū)著迷。

17. give way to: 讓步于……；genuine: 真心的。

18. snuggle: 依偎；heroine: 女主角；torment: 戲弄，折磨。

19. alas: 哎呀（表示悲傷、羞愧或恐懼）；wardrobe:（某人擁有的）全部服裝。

20. steer: 引導(dǎo)；peer pressure: 同齡人的壓力。

21. stubborn: 固執(zhí)的。

22. 然而，我和瑪雅的幾分鐘（談話）會(huì)改變數(shù)十億美元的整容產(chǎn)業(yè)、貶低女性的真人秀和我們的名人狂熱文化嗎？

23. perspective: 視角。

24. slash: 消減。

25. magic wand: 魔杖。

26. intriguing: 非常有趣的。

（來(lái)源：英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)雜志 編輯：中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)英語(yǔ)點(diǎn)津 陳丹妮）