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Reader question: What's the difference between envy and jealousy?
My comments:
Being envious of someone may sound more innocuous than
being jealous, but it's really not that much different. Both feelings are
good to keep in control. And it's up to you.
First, definitions.
Envy refers to the feeling of wanting something
that someone else has (Longman). To envy, therefore, is to wish that you
had someone else's possessions, positions, good looks, talents and so
forth.
Jealousy, on the other hand, is the feeling of anger and unhappiness
(because you don't yet have what others have). In relationships, jealousy
is the angry feeling that "someone you like or love is showing interest in
another person, or another person is showing interest in them: She gets
jealous if I even look at another woman" (Longman).
It's natural to be envious if we want something and then find someone
having got it first. If we get that same thing soon enough, most of us
will be able to keep our envies under control. If not, our feelings may
begin to turn sinister. We begin to conjecture that they don't deserve
their good fortunes, that we are every bit as good as them and that we are
in fact more deserving that they are. I said conjecture, because we tend
to lose our head when jealousy begins to take over.
It's a matter of degree. To cure jealousy, one may want to check envy
first. Pay more attention to yourself. Build on yourself, so that you can
and will have what others have, if not today, then tomorrow. With this
inner confidence, you won't allow yourself to be consumed with envy. You
may even begin to enjoy other people's possessions. A friend buys a car?
Well, enjoy a ride in it.
And why not? People who have better possessions are generally less
troublesome. A neighbor who bought a bigger TV screen would stop coming to
watch their favorite programs in your house.
On the other hand, however, if you don't have a life of your own, you
may be secretly seething right now. You begin to loathe the new-found
peace and hate your neighbors for not coming to bother you any more. When
they did come, they often were noisy and annoying. You have forgotten that
now and begun to long for their company again. It's all because of the car
and the TV! you thought. No, it's not. It's you.
Envy is not very far away from jealousy. That's why "envy" is listed
among the seven deadly sins.
The seven deadly sins, a Western concept, commonly refer to (from the
less harmful to the most serious) lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger,
envy and pride.
You see, envy and pride are the most deadly of them all.
Not fatal in the physical sense, but to spiritual progress.
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