有愉快的同事關系，受到同事的歡迎恐怕是每個職場人的想法。但是，當人氣與敬業之間出現矛盾時，比如作為主管，工作的需要你得要求大家加班，但是誰都知道這不討好，這種時候你該怎么辦呢？是好好先生做到底，還是雷厲風行的保證工作順利開展？下面就如何對待職場中的人氣陷阱給大家一些建議，尤其是剛剛開始工作的學生。
THE POPULARITY TRAP 人氣陷阱
Respect versus popularity-it is the old conflict between being professional
and being personal. We want to do a good job, but we want to be friends with
everyone, too. The truth is, you can't always be liked if you do your job
properly. And the desire to keep everyone happy can become a weakness.
受人尊敬與受人歡迎歸結起來其實是敬業和個人化之間的矛盾。我們都想把工作做好，同時我們也想和所有的人成為朋友。而實情是如果你想把工作做好的話，你就必然不討人喜愛。想成為好好先生的一廂情愿往往會成為你的弱點。
"At best," says management consultant Jennie Lumley, "worrying about what
others think makes us reactive when we need to be proactive. At worst, we're so
busy playing the office sweetheart that we lose sight of the demands of the job
and our needs."
管理咨詢專家詹妮·倫莉說：“太介意別人的看法對工作沒有好處，勉強說得上好的話就是當我們必須積極面對的時候，我們開始有了反應；而最糟糕的局面是大家都熱衷于做辦公室的好好先生，而漠視了工作和我們本身的要求。”
This is a particular problem for female professionals, Lumley finds. "It's a
childhood hangover. We all long to be the most popular girl in school. Also,
girls are brought up to try to please. This need to be liked gets in the way of
career progress. At work, men don't give a thought to what others think so long
as they get their way."
職業女性尤其容易產生這個問題，詹妮·倫莉說：“這是因為童年給我們太深的痕跡，我們都想成為學校里最受歡迎的女生；同時，女孩子從小就被教導要善解人意。而這種要討人喜愛的心理往往會成為職業生涯的障礙。而對男性來說就沒有這個問題，只要他們達到他們預期的目標，他們才不會理會其他人到底怎么想?！?
AT TIMES YOU HAVE TO BE TOUGH
有時你就要狠下心來！
Although we would all love to be Ms Popular at home and in the office, at
work the task is not to be liked, but to be effective, says computer sales
executive Andrea. 電腦銷售主管安德莉認為，雖然我們都想成為家里或辦公室的受歡迎人士，可工作的性質不是要求人們要招人喜愛，而是一定要有工作效率。
"This is possibly the single most important lesson we can learn. You can't
always be popular. You shouldn't have to be; it's not what you're there for.
Progress depends on having your own ideas and sticking to them. And that means
having the guts to make difficult decisions when you have to," she says.
安德莉說：“這有可能是我們學到的最重要的東西。你不可能時時處處受歡迎，你也沒必要這樣做；你的工作也不要求你這樣。工作取得進展很大程度上是因為你有自己獨立的想法并努力去實現它，這也就意味著在必要的時候，你就得狠下心來做出艱苦的決定?！?
The soft decision is never a real option, as many women find. Pat had to deal
with a colleague who had repeatedly been warned about her absenteeism, and now
had to be told to go. When Pat tried to fire her, the colleague was so
distraught, Pat gave her another chance.
而很多女性也發現，不痛不癢的決定其實不能解決問題。帕特就得面對這么一位同事，她因曠工已經被警告多次，最后還被勒令辭職。那同事知道自己要被炒魷魚時表現得非常激動，帕特一時不忍給了她第二次機會。
"It was a disaster," Pat says. "I had fired her and she'd walked away from
it. My colleagues were resentful. I lost their respect, my bosses' and my own.
And I still had to deal with her in the end!"
帕特承認說：“這真是一場災難，我已經炒了她，她卻毫發無傷地留了下來！其他同事都很有意見，我一下子失去了他們對我的支持，同時失去的還有上司對我和我對自己的信任。這還不算，到頭來我還得面對那個同事?！?
We're aware from day one in our first job that every decision we make is
either a building block or a stumbling block on our career path. We should use
the time to lay the groundwork of future respect by being professional,
responsible, innovative, diligent and reliable.
我們在第一天工作的時候就很清楚我們做出的每一個決定都意義重大，會影響我們未來事業的發展，要么添磚加瓦，要么成為自己事業的絆腳石。我們因此應該在自己的專業領域兢兢業業，為自己將來的事業打下堅實的基礎，成為一個專業、負責、創新、勤勉、值得信賴的人。
Respect is never given for nothing. Claire knew that she was offered a move
to Paris with her finance company because she had gained a reputation for
keeping cool under fire. And the next step up the ladder would depend on her
performance in Paris.
沒有人會無緣無故地賞識你?？巳R爾被她所工作的金融公司提拔到法國巴黎去工作，她清楚這是因為她能在批評壓力下保持冷靜，正是自己的工作表現贏得了上司的贊賞。而她的下一次晉升就取決于她在巴黎的工作表現。
"It's essential to build regard if you're going to be able to do what you
want in your job," she says. Winning respect enhances all you do. A proposal for
change is more likely to be well received; an application for a raise or a
request for promotion is more likely to succeed.
她說：“如果你想在工作上大展拳腳，實施你自己的想法，別人對你的重視相當關鍵?！边@種重視能讓你更順利地達到目的，比如說人家會更仔細地研究你提出來的改革方案，你提薪或升遷的申請也更能得到滿意的答復。
GENTLE PERSUASION 溫柔的說服力
The woman who builds her professional edge in this way isn't condemned to
loneliness and isolation. You can be firm without being unpleasant, and being
tough doesn't mean being rude or confrontational. Persuasive and assertive are
the watch words.
以此構筑自己專業優勢的女性不會注定孤獨或受到別人的隔離。因為你可以通過不令人生厭的方式表達你的不同意見，堅決并不代表要粗暴或挑釁，要做到耐心勸服與堅定自信并重。
"To make the right decisions and push them through, you will need the kid
gloves more often than the boxing gloves," Lumley suggests. And a sense of humor
is vital.
詹妮·倫莉說：“做出一個正確的決定并去實現它，你更需要的是哄小孩的耐性，而不是要和自己的同事拼個你死我活?！庇哪幸彩呛苤匾囊画h。
If you're doing your job properly you'll seldom be everyone's favorite
person. But the payoff comes in the form of a deeper liking and admiration.
Respect is like money in the bank: You have to put it in before you can draw it
out. Don't worry about popularity, work on respect. That will take you a lot
further in the long run.
盡職做工作并不能使你成為大家都喜歡的人物，可這樣做的報酬卻相當可觀，它能讓你得到更深層次的喜愛和仰慕。尊敬就如同銀行里的錢一樣：在提款之前你必須先往里面存款！不用擔心自己的人氣指數，讓別人注意到你的工作表現，從長遠來說，這能助你邁向成功之路。
（來源：搜狐教育 英語點津 Annabel 編輯）
