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Dear columnist:
I want to know how it is like and what it takes to
be a columnist. Can you shed some light on this? Just like the old man
asks "Aziz! Light!" at the beginning of the Fifth Element. I mean I'm not
asking you for some light in that manner.
I ask this question because I just recently hit upon the idea that
maybe I want to be a columnist, like a newspaper columnist - let's forget
for now whether I'm made of that kind of material.
Maybe this question is too general, too simplified, too ignorant?
Anyway, can you tell your own story? I believe your readers will be
interested to know.
I'll appreciate your light in whatever form it will take.
Sophie
Dear Sophie:
Had you asked for the "Light!" in the manner of the
question asked in the Fifth Element starring Bruce Willis, I could have a
simple answer for you - I don't know. I haven't seen the movie.
Seriously, I'm glad that you are not asking that, but instead a
question of the "too general, too simplified and too ignorant" type, the
kind that makes you feel kinda stupid. Don't worry, I love stupid
questions - because I am sure I have some stupid answers to match.
I don't know the light. But I'm a fellow seeker of the light, whatever that is. It's from this position
that I speak - feel free to flee at any moment.
Instead of making up a to-do list of one, two, three, four through
"Eight Steps to Stardom in Column-sphere" for you, I want to touch upon
the very fifth element (not the movie!) you mentioned, plus the sixth
sense, seventh heaven and ninth cloud.
The fifth element was an idea in ancient oriental philosophy, referring
to spiritual stuffs from up there in contrast to the four worldly elements
of earth, fire, air and water we daily experience and often take for
granted. The fifth element, on the other hand, allows people to stay above
the mundane and keep our humdrum existence in perspective. It gives us an
overview and helps us to see the whole picture, so to speak.
Column writing takes a few things, i.e. facts, figures plus a degree of
writing skill that enables you to complete every story with a beginning, a
muddle and an end. In this sense, columns are no different from other
journalistic writings per se. Let's remember, by the way, you are "made of
that kind of material." You may not realize it yet, but you are, you are.
That's the encouraging part. The depressing news is that everyone is
"made of that kind of the material". So you can imagine there's a bit of
competition out there.
But any writer knows that facts and figures alone don't make a good
story. You need to put them into perspective, so that words convey ideas
and deliver meaning. To do this, you need to develop a sixth sense for the
big picture. You've got to be able to see the trees (facts and figures)
without missing the woods (the greater scheme of things).
The sixth sense refers to a subtle ability to perceive things in
addition to the five physiological senses of sight, smell, hearing, taste
and touch. The sixth sense is commonly known as intuition. All people are
"made up of this kind of material". But, luckily for you, few people ever
realize it. They know they used to have it, when they were babies. But
they lose it after years of education and social programming. Few utilize
it after they are well into adulthood. So, competition at this level is
not great - people talk about it more than they actually practice it.
I think the sixth sense for the greater scheme of things is a most
important quality to seek as a columnist.
I realize I am able to say so because I AM a columnist. I am free to
say what I want to say. This is not a freedom afforded to all
general-assignment journalists. This is something people envy columnists
about, and rightly so. But they may want to be reminded that freedom of
speech is a lot of responsibility. To be free in essence is to be
responsible and free from wrongdoing in general. So be careful what you
wish for, because you may get it.
To be free to say what one wants to say, one need to have something to
say in the first place. And that means a bit of work. Or the columnist may
run the risk of talking, talking, talking and saying nothing. But never
mind, readers can tell.
Understanding the fifth element is empowering and rewarding. You see,
writing a column can be a terrible chore. You have a deadline to meet
every so often and that can be a dreadful prospect sometimes. And
financially the pay isn't good, journalism being journalism. But more than
making up for it all, the columnist has you, his readers.
Speaking for myself, I'm in seventh heaven (the highest heaven
according to the Jewish tradition) whenever I remember that I'm serving
you. And quite frankly I think some of you, my readers, are nuts. You're
crazy when you sing me those shameless praises in your letters. Whenever
you do that, I'm on cloud nine (the highest state of bliss).
On the other hand, when you criticize me with abandon, I'm also on
cloud nine, because, you see, once I am there I don't want to ever leave.
And it's your fault, too, because your shameless praises have made me lose
my mind also and I now consider all negative criticism regarding my
columns to be wanton and pointless, totally excessive and absolutely
unnecessary.
All kidding aside, understanding the fifth element enables me to serve
you freely, without inhibition and without condition, in the same way you,
Sophie, treat me ("I'll appreciate your light in whatever form it will
take"). You, my readers in general, are all worthy and deserving (and that
is to say, keep all those shameless praising letters coming) and I want to
be the same.
In short, how is it like to be a columnist?
It's like life on cloud nine (whenever you realize you have more than
just paragraphs to complete and a deadline to meet, that is).
And, what does it take to be a columnist?
I guess it takes a columnist to be a columnist. It takes one to know
one.
It is about being.
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