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Dana Buchman is a celebrated
American fashion designer. Her line of women's clothing can be found in
major department stores around the country. She is in the headlines now, not because
of her spring collection, but because of her new book, revealing her
difficult and transformative acceptance of her older daughter's serious learning
disabilities.
Twenty years ago, designer Dana Buchman seemed to have it all. She
was married to a high-powered attorney, had launched her own clothing
label and had her first child, a daughter, Charlotte. "The next turning
point came when we realized that Charlotte -- something was going on there,"
she says. "We had her diagnosed and we were told it was learning
differences."
In addition to difficulty understanding written words, 4-year-old
Charlotte had trouble counting. She couldn't tell a story, moved awkwardly
and had absolutely no sense of direction. Her mother feared those symptoms
would affect not only her schoolwork, but her ability to function in the
real world as well. "I burst into tears and thought it was the end of the
world," she says.
But it wasn't. It was just the beginning of the journey she would take
to help her daughter. "What I did was just throw my whole self into it,"
she says. "It was almost like having another job, taking Charlotte to
experts, trying to talk to the teachers at the school, trying to learn
about her particular type of learning differences and see what she
needed."
As she toured the country to promote her fashions, Dana
Buchman met other parents
trying to deal with
their children's learning disabilities. She realized she had to share her family's
story. The result was A Special Education. "I decided to write the book
when Charlotte was a senior in high school," she says. "I realized it was
sort of the end of the journey. She was grown up and going off into the
world. And I realized how different she was than I thought she would be when
she was diagnosed with learning disabilities. And more, I realized how
different I was."
Buchman says her daughter's learning differences have transformed her.
"For me, it jived into sort of the most
difficult way with my unperfectionism and I had been brought up to think I should try my very best at everything.
I was an A student. I sat in the front row in the class. This is
how one should be!" she says. "Watching Charlotte struggle with things, showing
her weaknesses and vulnerabilities to the world - you know she was constantly
battling with LD popping up and embarrassing her, frustrating her
- it really changed me. I feel like I've become more human. I've learned
to acknowledge weaknesses, everything does not have to be perfect. I
realized that it can make life even richer in a way."
Although the 'battle' with learning disabilities continues for
Charlotte, there have been victories. Last summer, she graduated from high
school. She's now in college in New England. And she says she's learned
how to accept herself and deal with challenges. "I'll never get over my
learning differences, but I can always work with it," she says. "It pops
up everyday, but I laugh at it almost all the time."
One of the challenges Charlotte learned to handle
is dealing with her younger sister, Annie. "Older sister always helps the
younger sister," she says. "And I've always felt that I was never able
to do that. But the challenge was seeing my sister would be able to go
skiing or play the piano really well while I had to take my time and be slower
or seeing that she'd be doing mass of calculous and I'd be doing elementary math.
You know it's hard to see your younger sister succeed, while you are
staying in the same place. But she has always been there when I didn't understand
something, to step in for me and support me. She's definitely
has been the greatest sister I could ever have. I wouldn't want anything
better."
Charlotte says she hopes that her story will change
the way people with learning disabilities look at themselves and how they are treated
by others. "Everyone is unique in their own way. I wish kids would see
that," she says. "I remember this teacher one time, I wasn't understanding
the whole math concept of grouping numbers like 2 times 2 and he said to
me, 'You are not learning. You're not trying.' And I said, 'I'm trying!'
It was just the process that they were teaching me wasn't working.
Sometimes, teachers don't realize that they have got to be careful with
what they say. Or like saying, 'This is such baby math.' This is insulting
to a kid."
Charlotte hasn't chosen her major in college yet, but says she just wants to
do what she likes and help others and inspired by the hard work her
family has done to help her live a full life. | 
