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James Milner, England

Milner often gets made fun of for being supremely bland. There's even a very popular "Boring James Milner" parody Twitter account. The real James Milnerclaims to be on the hunt for the person behind this account, but this obviously is just a cover. He's actually been carefully cultivating this image for years, biding his time until he shows up for a match wearing an anthem jacket made of ears and does things with the ball that make the Brazilians look like baby giraffes trying to stand for the first time. He will make Salvador Dali seem unimaginative and square. You have been warned.

詹姆斯·米爾納（James Milner），英格蘭

米爾納經常因為自己超級沉悶而被取笑，甚至有個很受歡迎的，專講“無聊的詹姆斯·米爾納”段子的虛假推特賬號，米爾納宣稱自己正在追蹤這個號碼的真實身份，但這只是一個笑談罷了。實際上，米爾納多年來一直用心營造這一形象，在上場穿上球衣之前一直厚積薄發，并且他很遵從教練，在場上用足球讓巴西人看起來如剛出生試圖站立的小長頸鹿般柔弱。他會讓（西班牙著名超現實主義畫家）薩爾瓦多·達利（Salvador Dali）看起來缺乏想象力且墨守成規。做好思想準備吧。