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Love and money reshape family in China
By Robert Marquand (The Christian Science Monitor)
Updated: 2006-01-19 11:10
China debates 'family values'
Most Chinese agree the family is undergoing tremendous change. But views on
what that means run the gamut. Some feel society is headed for serious disorder
due to a loss of values like sacrifice, family loyalty, and fidelity. Others see
a better China emerging after a period of shakeout, with greater choice and
maturity.
 At one level, the fight is between traditionalists and progressives. Many of
the former feel that an avaricious new money culture will corrupt China and send
it into uncharted waters. They see women becoming sex objects and couples
devaluing each other. They see the years from 1950 to 1980 as a stable period of
happiness, when moral values were predominant and families found meaning in
serving the state.
"The opening up of the 1980s is only now showing itself in the way wives and
husbands are chosen," says Xia Xueluan, a professor at Beijing University. "Now,
when a girl meets a boy the first question is, 'Do you have a house? Do you have
a car?' This causes great strains in marriages, and on husbands, to produce
income. I'm worried."
Progressives feel that few Chinese want to lose recent gains like choice.
Both sexes are more liberated, they feel. In the past, marriage was limited by
family background. Divorce was not allowed, often not even in abusive, dead-end
situations.
"In the past, there was no money and people were forced to rely on others.
The choice for a better life was simple: struggle for food and shelter," says
Dong Zhiying with the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. "We all lived together
and ate at the same table; we had 'salty or sweet' depending on what was
available. Now you can order your own dishes."
Many in China do feel problems with the money culture are underestimated, but
don't want a return to state dictates in their private lives. They feel that an
obsession with grades, colleges, and jobs has led parents to ignore a
traditional emphasis on good behavior, modesty, and politeness. They are
troubled by studies showing rising levels of early teen sex and recent cases of
teens involved in homicides. They want a form of new moral education that
teaches a humane social contract.
(Courtesy of The Christian Science Monitor)
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