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The kindness of strangers
Support groups have been set up in Shanghai to help overseas newcomers settle down in what seems to them be an exotic but lonely life in a huge metropolis. Annabel Kirk talks with three expatriates who try to make life easier for new arrivals to the city. What were your first impressions of Shanghai? Were you instantly excited by the endless sea of colored neon lights, the eye-popping skyscrapers and the pulsating throngs of people? Or did your first encounter with a jam-packed metro train leave you yearning to curl up with a mug of hot English tea on the next flight home? For most expatriates, Shanghai represents a cosmopolitan haven of opportunity -- where anything and everything can be achieved if you manage to keep up with the lightning speed of its development. A city that truly never sleeps, with a thriving economy, an ever-blossoming myriad of chic night-spots and shops that make London's (I'm a Londoner) exorbitant prices instantly forgettable. It seems baffling that anyone could get homesick in Shanghai. For many newcomers though, leaving their home comforts to arrive into such a ceaseless hub of activity is an extremely daunting and suffocating experience. Jet-lagged and groggy after landing in Shanghai, the realization that you know only a handful of people in a city of over 16 million can be a startling one. Suddenly being plunged into an alien environment where you are away from some of your closest family and friends, where few people speak your native language and where even crossing the road can be pretty risky, may be an intimidating experience for even the most seasoned of travelers. Foreigners need not feel isolated and alone anymore though. Shanghai is the home to a plethora of expatriate meeting groups, which have sprung up all over the city to help visitors settle in to their new, and often incredibly different, ways of life. People from all over the world should not have any trouble finding a like-minded group of friends in Shanghai. From groups with a national focus like the Shanghai American Club, to general organizations such as the Shanghai Expatriate Association, these groups ensure that no one is left outside in the cold. For Dianne Fielding, the president of the Australian Women's Social Group, arriving in Shanghai with her husband and daughter was an exciting but frustrating experience. "Finding my way around was a nightmare at first," she recalls. "Because of the language barriers, it's easy to find yourself stranded, lost and having to play charades with the taxi driver so that he knows where you want to go." Four years on, Fielding takes Shanghai-living in her stride and is now dedicated to helping other expatriates settle into their new lives as quickly and painlessly as possible. Lunches, coffee mornings and tours of the city are held regularly by the group, so that newcomers are given a warm welcome, whilst benefiting from the tried-and-tested tales of more experienced Shanghai dwellers. As well as providing social contacts and support, the group members are also there to give information and advice to ladies who are new to the city. From warning people about the dangers of pedestrian crossings in Shanghai to recommending reliable "ayis" (nannies), Fielding and the rest of the group are there to help things start with a flourish, and not a flop. "We try and make newcomers realize that we're all in the same boat -- as expatriates starting new lives in a foreign country," says Fielding. "It's nice for new arrivals to feel like they are part of wider community." The popular expatriate group, Brits Abroad, stands by a similar mission statement: to provide British expatriates with a forum in which to make new friends throughout Shanghai. Amanda Page, the bright and bubbly president of the organization, has lived in Shanghai for nearly two years and has an infectious enthusiasm for life in the city. After living in the sleepy English town of Norwich, being thrust into the hustle and bustle of Shanghai came naturally to Page, who adored the metropolitan lifestyle from the very beginning. Now, through her organization, she is determined to share her love of the city with other British expatriates in Shanghai. From coffee mornings to feng shui and quiz nights to golfing days, the group runs a whole host of social events each month to entertain members and their families. For example, a traditional English lunch will be held at Sasha's Restaurant on April 21 to honor the Queen's birthday which should suit those who miss the taste of ``Old Blighty.'' And newcomers to the group need not worry that they will have none to talk to at the meetings. ``We give new members a sticker to show that they've just arrived,'' Page explains. ``Then they'll be able to discuss their first impressions of Shanghai with other people, so they realize that there are others who are in the same position and experiencing the same worries.'' Expatriates who would like to make friends with Chinese residents to sample a true taste of Shanghai will not be disappointed either. People of all nationalities gather together on Saturday afternoons to relax with a coffee and the friends they have met in the English and More Club. While people do attend the meetings to brush up on their language skills, president of the club, Yu Jiji insists that there is far greater emphasis on the ``more'' aspect nowadays -- with members being invited to go out for dinners, bowling and ice skating trips regularly. Not only does the group take time to explore Shanghai and the local area, it also gives foreigners the opportunity to learn about each other and the different cultures of the world. ``We're like a very large family,'' says Albert Tok, a Singaporean businessman and one of the founders of the group who fondly recalls a trip the group took to Suzhou in neighboring Jiangsu Province a few months ago. No longer, then, should expatriates feel lonely in Shanghai. ``Life in the city is so fast-paced that it can be very intimidating when you first get here,'' says newly arrived British expatriate, Eleanor Kerslake. ``Its just nice to know that there are people to turn to when you're so far away from home.'' Some of Shanghai's expatriate communities Shanghai Expatriate Association Tel: 6262-3259 E-mail: seamembership@yahoo.com. Australian Women's Social Group Tel: Dianne Fielding on 136-4194-2843 E-mail: awsgshanghai@hotmail.com Brits Abroad E-mail: britsabroad57@hotmail.com English and More Club E-mail: englishandmore6@hotmail.com
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