I have a confession to make. I have never climbed the Great Wall of China. Yes, after living and working in China, predominantly in Beijing, for years, I have never scaled the country's grandest landmark. The shame.

And despite observed reclusive behaviors, I've not shied away from the many of the Middle Kingdom's other great offerings to history.

I've been all over the country, to far more places than many of my Chinese friends and colleagues. I've trekked the Gobi Desert, navigated stretches of the Grand Canal and stood atop the Three Gorges Dam. In Beijing alone, I've done the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace, the Old Summer Palace and all of the amazing parks and museums multiple times over. I am a literal hutong weasel. And yet, I have not visited the thing that China is most famous for, which has sections just an hour's drive north of where I live.

What a lazy fool.

But wait, hang on a minute, don't go, hear me out first. I have my reasons. Listen to my side of the story, please.

I have, on many, many occasions been tantalizingly close to the Great Wall. I've driven past it innumerable times on my way to visit sites that are technically located in the "Wall area" or slightly further past it. I've visited the famous Qinglongqiao Railway Station that is nestled among the many ridges of the mountainous Badaling section of the Great Wall. The station was literally a steepish stone's throw from the Wall and I was given an opportunity to climb up to it on the day I was there. But, alas, I was wearing the wrong type of shoes.

On a side note, the station is famous for its zigzagging track that allowed for underpowered steam engines back in the day to climb up over the mountain and back down the other side. It took a while, but you got to where you were wanting to go. Probably Zhangjiakou, Hebei province. Nowadays they mostly don't bother with the zigzag track, instead a great tunnel has been bored through the mountain so that bullet trains can pass through at 350 kilometers per hour. Interesting, right? I wouldn't have known that if I'd spent my day gallivanting on the Great Wall pouting for selfies to post on my social media.

To cut a long story short (or perhaps to make it a little longer so as I make my word count), I plan to make amends for my historical error. Yes, I'm finally going to, as disgusting metaphors go, pop my Great Wall cherry. Urgh.

But I'm not going to waste my first time at one of the sections like Badaling or Mutianyu that are swarming with tourists. No one wants their first time to be among sweaty staring strangers. You'd lose your enthusiasm for a start, I would have thought.

No, I'm going to find a nice, quiet place off the beaten track and commune with my inner Wall.

I've even bought some new shoes.